Crystallization Forming Legacy
There it was. Taunting me to turn around and take a closer look, a broken mirror on the sidewalk. Bent down looking at its shattered, open center, I saw right through it. I witnessed the half-dead grass, dirty cement and Bushwick apartments behind it. Through fractals of reflections, I saw parked cars and people passing by on the street behind me, in front of the mirror.
Sonder consistently sticks its tongue out at me, with passers-by experiencing their own lives all around me. Do they pursue their day-to-day as a means to an end, or in passionate pursuit? Are they struggling? Are they happy? Do they provide for their families?
And even though I was right in front of this unsuspecting trash-turned-thought piece of a mirror, I was nowhere to be found, my reflection lost in the light.
The same disappearing act occurs in life sometimes. New York City is meant to be a place of transformation and rebirth, but between the hustle and bustle and oversaturated media consumption, I’ve found the journey to get clouded at times.
I can’t help but think, who am I to talk about legacy? Do I think of my impact in vain, or as inspiring for others? Is it unrealistic or a striking North Star to give me purpose?
Over this past year, my first year living in New York City, running Obscura Zine, and turning 23, I’ve oscillated between feeling lost and insecure, yet confident and fully crystallized. In the same vein, I used to call myself a walking contradiction for my indecisiveness, the ebb and flow of my feelings, but I’m coming to learn it’s not contradictory to be confused or change your opinion; it’s just human.
As I contemplate the idea of legacy, I find myself turning back to childhood passions and recent dreams that have felt prophetic and sentimental to me. Playing games of dress-up in my grandma’s garden, making storybooks on the back of Yahtzee scoresheets, drawing, and crafting clothes and accessories for my Monster High dolls fueled me as a child.
Lucid dreams of magnetized boxes, crystal fractals, traveling through different parallel lives, and sayings like, “If there was nothing to worry about, there’d be nothing to love” all have swirled through my subconscious and stuck with me. These semiotics have guided me in my real life, fascinating me and causing me to dissect whether I’m on the right path, what this is trying to tell me. They help me visualize and “crystallize” or manifest the legacy I want to leave behind.
I’m very much a ‘Type A’ creative, which may sound oxymoronic to some. I have grandiose visions dating up to 2027 and layers of creative execution I’d love to integrate into making Obscura more than just a publication – but a platform for connection. A household name in publishing, clothing, art, and more.
These vehicles of artistic creation are just that – vehicles. The legacy I want to leave will stem from a key root of authenticity and purpose, branching out into these outlets i.e. storytelling through articles, creatively directing photoshoots, writing and directing comic books, designing clothes, etc.
More than anything, I hope to inspire others to explore and execute upon their own creativity, and encourage others to question everything. Challenge yourself to learn more about the brands you buy from, understand niche processes that make the world turn, deep dive into your best friend’s hobbies, and read up on everything and anything. I hope our readers are exhilarated to go out and try new things, listen to new music, or talk to new people that are out of your circle. I want to push people to their creative limits and feel good about it, disciplined about it.
I do not ever want to get lost in the muddled world of creating content for the sake of social engagements or ego-filled validation, but rather creating for the sake of human connection. Fashion can be vain, but it can also be an incredible form of expression, of understanding the human experience through crafted textile, a hands-on learning experience, and a way to challenge each other’s norms for societal dress codes. There’s so much story and connection that gets lost and blurred behind likes and flashing lights.
Yohji Yamamoto said to Sleek Magazine, “I hate fashion. Or the word fashion, which sounds colorful, extravagant, expensive and gorgeous. I never wanted to walk the main street of fashion. I have been walking the sidewalks of fashion from the beginning.”
Like Yamamoto, I don’t aim to have the glitz and glamour of the fashion world. Obscura doesn’t mind strolling the sidewalks of fashion if it means we can humbly achieve our goals of community, creativity and change.
I know it will take time, effort, blood, sweat, tears, sleepless nights and stressful days, and I am so beyond grateful for the community that I get to be a part of on this journey. It will all be worth it and create a meaningful life well-lived not only for myself, but I hope for others too. I know it’ll be worth the worries and will crystallize in the right timing because just as the prophetic phrasing whispered to me in my dreams, “if there was nothing to worry about, there’d be nothing to love.”
Obscura has achieved more than I could’ve ever dreamed within its first year, and we have so much more planned. Come connect, learn more, and discover the beginning of Obscura’s legacy at our first in-person event in Brooklyn on September 27. RSVP here.
Editorial Photos by Kylen Lunn
